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The Lie

I just binge watched 14 episodes of Big Little Lies finishing the last one at 2:30 this morning. On the final night, I watched four episodes in one sitting instead of attending a bi-monthly Toast Masters meetup in Paris. A commitment I made to myself to improve and practice public speaking skills to share my message about Women, Fashion, and Money. I emailed the event organizer – typing my little lie, withdrawing the RSVP, writing the babysitter canceled. That was easy - hunkering down for the night, a bowl of oatmeal resting in my lap, armed with my phone to Google the cast’s bios, soundtrack, and whether Reese and Nicole were still married.

For 72 hours I was addicted, and at the end, I got off the couch as a different person with my own reflective thoughts – Am I trying to keep my own shit together while making sure my kid doesn’t make the same mistakes as me - all while confronting my damaged past, simultaneously cheerfully living a life I’d like to escape from time to time.

2020 is the year of sustainability. You can’t get through the day without being sold a product or idea to save the environment. And on the flip side, there’s the constant questioning (and maybe some unconscious guilt) of what you’re wearing, putting in your mouth, and how many Amazon packages you received today.

I started buying second-hand. It’s my way of being part of the sustainability movement – a big fat lie. I started buying second-hand because it afforded me a designer wardrobe for a quarter of the price I was spending at the mall and online. I could get a few seasons-old, pre-loved Gucci blazer, Valentino sneakers, and a Chloe dress with a click of a button for a fraction of the price.

Working with women to build their wardrobes sustainably with second-hand, I recognize there’s a pleasure derived from the act of looking for clothes but also the pleasure of getting a good bargain. The bottom line: women love pretty things, and when we can score a deal, it’s an awesome feeling.

Fashion, in many ways, is an emotional decision, not a rational one.

I’ve reprogrammed the way I consume fashion and build my wardrobe. Learning to love what I have first and the act of buying second-hand has changed the dynamics in my head. I’m more thoughtful about my purchases now. Too often, I made the mistake of buying something because the sales-lady was so helpful and complimentary that; I couldn’t bear walking out empty-handed or convinced myself a new pair of shoes would solve my wardrobe dilemmas.

I continue to buy my favorite brands, second-hand. I don’t have to question or justify my purchases or keep looking for options that match my values. Let’s face it – it takes a whole lot of effort to maintain a conscious, sustainable lifestyle, let alone an entire wardrobe of guilt-free purchases.

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